Every once in a while I’ll get a message like the one above. Someone will match with me just to call me ugly/fat. The most annoying thing about this conversation was that he wasn’t even that hot to me! Little did he know that I was talking to like three other way hotter people. Oy.
You will get rude and derogatory messages. There are deeply unhappy people who will want to make themselves feel better by trying to take away others’ joy. Know that they do not define you, block, report, and continue with the hotter people you’re talking to who are genuinely interested in you.
3. Sometimes They Just Want To Hook Up
It’s a bummer but a fact that some guys want to have sex with fat girls, but they don’t want to date fat girls. We are a fetish and although it’s annoying, some guys worry more about how dating a fat girl will make them look to the outside world than what they are actually attracted to. There are studies about how some men who are more sexually attracted to fat girls only date thin girls because they think their friends would make fun of them if they had a fat girlfriend…It’s wild. But it’s a fact! So get good at deciphering which dudes just want to have sex and which dudes will treat you the way you want to be treated. Unless you just wanna have sex. Then do ya thang girl!
4. Spend Time On Your Bio
#4 is a tip for everyone: Don’t have your bio be a big list of demands. A) it’s a little lame idk do you but B) it’s easy then for someone to pretend to be the list to take advantage. Your bio is about you anyway! Show your personality! Showing you’re funny or caring will attract the people you want more than listing a bunch of qualities that you claim you are and/or that you’re looking for. You can assert your standards once you are in conversation with someone. There’s no need to list out a bunch of requirements in the bio, show yourself off so they can get to know who you are!
5. You’re the Pie
One of my favorite lessons from New Girl is when Schmidt is helping Jess with online dating and he reminds her that she’s the best girl on “Dice”. He tells her, “You’re the pie!”, to remind her that she is what everyone is looking for. In online dating there is no reason to accept less than you want to. Remember that you have a lot to offer and you’re amazing! As our queen Ari tells us: say thank u, next when something isn’t right. You’re the pie!
6. Remember the Fun!
No matter what remember that dating is fun! Meeting new people, flirting, it is all fun and exciting! Yeah it sucks when someone you like doesn’t like you back, yeah it sucks when a dude feels powerful when he calls you fat in a derogatory way, but there are always more fish in the sea and the possibilities are all so exciting. Taking the risk to put yourself out there is always better than not! No matter what happens being vulnerable and tender is always more rewarding than staying guarded.
